Horolonomics X A Teenager

I'm going out on a limb with this one. On Horolonomics I primarily cover economic issues in the watch industry.  Of late, though, I've had a number of conversations with a teenager in my family involving cartoons and / or graphic novels.  This particular teen is a fan of a Cartoon Network show called Steven Universe by Rebecca Sugar. 

Stevens Universe title image.

My teen collaborator in this piece says it is a a show about "polymorphic sentient rocks."  Cartoons have come a long way from the overwhelmingly slapstick orientation of 20th century shows like Tom and Jerry.  Steven Universe explores some pretty serious cultural topics such as antiracism and the power of kindness and empathy.

What does this have to do with watches?  Perhaps you've already guessed.  In this article I'll do some anthropomorphism when it comes to Rolex references with stone dials.  My process was as follows: I began with the seemingly authoritative list of Rolex stone dials posted by user powerfunk on Rolex Forums.  Whenever there is a corresponding "gem" character in Steven Universe, I will draw from that character's personality (as described by my teen collaborator and a fan wiki) so that we can answer the question " if this stone dial Rolex were a character in Steven Universe, what would its persona be?" 

I did ask myself if there would be very little watch community interest in this piece before writing it.  I decided to go with it anyway, though, for a few reasons.  In order for the watch industry to survive and thrive we must continue to expand interest in collecting, particularly among younger generations.  According to Slate,  a Steven Universe viewer now has an average age of 27 with a significant number in the younger demographic.  If you're a stone dial owner and a decade from now a Steven Universe fanatic buys your piece for a significant amount, hit me up in DMs so you can send me a commission.  Just kidding.   Mostly.

So let's begin.

Agate Day-Date reference 18079

Two agate characters have appeared in Steven Universe.  Blue Lace Agate is fun-loving and likes to make others happy.  In contrast, Holly Blue Agate is quite unfriendly, dictatorial and abusive.

Holly Blue Agate.

She uses an electric whip as a weapon and she is often involved in keeping earth-Amethysts (a collection of soldiers) in line.  She is an attache to Blue Diamond (one of the diamond Queens) and she is serious about the job.  Notable quote, shouted "We do not run or shout in these hallways!"

Carnelian Oyster Perpetual Datejust reference 16018

Carnelian is a one-time character who is short, happy-go-lucky, excitable and energetic.  She also works for Blue Diamond and reports to Agate. 

Carnelian.

Carnelian does not like Holly Blue Agate due to her abuse directed towards the Amethysts.  Notable quote: "I'm not the shortest anymore!"

Rose Jasper Oyster Perpetual Datejust reference 79173

Green Jasper Day-Date reference 18038

Green Jasper.

Rose Jasper.

Jasper is the greatest soldier to come from quartz.  Her ruthlessness and stubbornness allows her to excel in battle. 

She is a big believer in hierarchy and caste.  She is a bully but she will show respect to others who have excelled in battle.  Jasper is willing to compromise her principles in order to win.  Her weapon is a crash helmet.  Notable quote: "There's always someone to fight!  There's just no one left worth fighting..."

Malachite Oyster Perpetual Datejust reference 278248

Malachite is a fusion of Jasper and Lapis Lazuli so she inherits both of their characteristics, ie ruthlessness, stubbornness, strength and durability.  She is twice as tall as a typical gem and has six arms. 

Four of them serve as legs.  Malachite is an unstable fusion held together by anger.  She can use water as a weapon due to a type of telekinesis involving liquids (aka hydrokenesis).  Notable quote: "Let's stay on this miserable planet ... together!"

Mother of Pearl Cosmograph Daytona

The nearest character here is the collection of pearls, who are not very intelligent.  The are servants portraying a 19th century stereotype of women. 

Pearl.

They are versatile in their use of weapons and loyal to the point of death.  They are easily traumatized, though, and they mimic the color of their owner.  Each diamond character has a pearl servant.  Notable quote: "I am a gem of many talents.  A dedication to fact is just one of them."

Obsidian  Oyster Perpetual Datejust ref 16008

Obsidian is a huge fusion of five different gems: pearl, rose quartz, garnet (ruby and sapphire) and amethyst.  This character has a glowing firing inside and sports eight arms. 

She is ferocious and loyal to friends.  Obsidian wields a huge sword as a weapon.  She does not naturally occur in the gem world.  Notable quote: she doesn't speak, only grunts and roars.  

Pink Opal Oyster Perpetual Datejust reference 79173 OPG

Black Opal Day-Date reference 18038

Black Opal.

Pink Opal.

Opal is a giant female character who uses a huge bow as a weapon.  She is one of the main characters of the series and she's a fusion of pearl and amethyst. 

Opal is calm and at peace to the point that she is sometimes distracted from the task at hand.  She is one of the few gems in the show that sings. More than any other gem character she will easily unfuse.  Notable quote: "independent together if we try."

Rubellite Day-Date reference 18038

The ruby characters are short and quick-tempered. When angry they can burn the ground.  They serve as bodyguards for anyone who requests one (typically gems of high status).   In this role they are very loyal.  As a weapon they use a gauntlet weapon or knife.

In groups of three or more they can fuse together and increase their size.  Notable quote: "I used to feel like I wasn't much good, just one of me on my own, but when we're together, it feels like it's okay to just be me. So I wanna be me, with you, an-and not even the Diamonds will come between us. And if they try, we'll beat em up!"

Lapis Lazuli Day-Date reference 18238 2BR

The lapis lazuli are so powerful they can terraform an entire planet.  Lapis Lazuli are very distrustful, cynical and self-hating (low self esteem).  Over time they become more laid back.  They are called to do so before and after attacks take place, as directed by diamonds.  They also employ hydrokenesis which they can use to create water wings. 

Not the kind you swim with but wings made from water that they fly with.  Notable quote: " I'm tired of the fighting. I'm tired of the blame. That mirror was a prison and fusion was the same!"

Sugilite Oyster Perpetial Datejust (Japan only) reference 69178

This character is a fusion of a garnet (ruby and sapphire) with amethyst.  She is large and tall with four arms and five eyes.  Sugilite takes pleasure in creating a lot of chaos and destruction.  For example, she destroyed an irreplaceable warp pad (a device used to travel).  She also has improper grammar. 

Sugilite uses two gauntlets on a whip as a weapon.  She only respects large, destructive gems.  If Sugilite is damaged and unfused, the damage transmits to her constituent gems. Notable quote: "you like that little man?"

There you have it. A cross-generational pop culture mashup with vintage luxury watches. I hope this can help those of you out there with family and / or friends who: a) love cartoons and b) grow weary of watch talk. Let's break down some barriers and merge hobby tribes as we wrap up 2020.